In everything on this earth that is worth doing, there is a stage when no one would do it,

except for necessity or honor. It is then that the Institution upholds a man and helps him on to the firmer ground ahead. Whether this solid fact of human nature is sufficient to justify the sublime dedication of Christian marriage is quite an other matter, it is amply sufficient to justify the general human feeling of marriage as a fixed thing, dissolution of which is a fault or, at least, an ignominy. The essential element is not so much duration as security. Two people must be tied together in order to do themselves justice; for twenty minutes at a dance, or for twenty years in a marriage In both cases the point is, that if a man is bored in the first five minutes he must go on and force himself to be happy. Coercion is a kind of encouragement; and anarchy (or what some call liberty) is essentially oppressive, because it is essentially discouraging. If we all floated in the air like bubbles, free to drift anywhere at any instant, the practical result would be that no one would have the courage to begin a conversation. It would be so embarrassing to start a sentence in a friendly whisper, and then have to shout the last half of it because the other party was floating away into the free and formless ether. The two must hold each other to do justice to each other. If Americans can be divorced for “incompatibility of temper” I cannot conceive why they are not all divorced. I have known many happy marriages, but never a compatible one. The whole aim of marriage is to fight through and survive the instant when incompatibility becomes unquestionable. For a man and a woman, as such, are incompatible.



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Mark D.

Interesting thoughts. I’ve heard it said that love is not a feeling, it’s an intentional thing. The feelings are passion, puppy love, infatuation, but love is hard work, for us mortals here on Earth. It’s God’s nature, though; for Him it comes with the territory of being God.


Indeed! I find it a great point that, from a human standpoint, men and women are essentially “incompatible.” As you mention, it is work that makes it all happen… with the occasional feeling, often enough hopefully to make it a worthwhile endeavor. For myself, yesterday marked a 25 year anniversary – and it startled me at how pleasant my marriage has been – but it is really and truly God that is front and center making it work. I mean, without something as basic as true forgiveness (which is only possible with Christ), I’d imagine I would have been clenching my jaw pretty hard for these last 25 years. 😀

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New Song! hear the drum